Wow, what a month. It is officially February now, meaning my speed creating experiment for January is all over. Here are some thoughts, as well as a bunch of links to each “thing”:
I suppose I should be honest about how this whole “Speed Creating” thing started. Around November, my girlfriend of roughly 4 years and I broke up. I’m not trying to turn this into one of the closing scenes of My So Called Life, I just want to be honest about my motivations as opposed to my usual practice of remaining willfully ignorant of the things that make me do the things I do.
One of the chief concerns I was having as the relationship kind of fell apart was “what makes me happy?”. A heavy set of circumstances had me feeling pretty terrible about myself and “Who I Am”. I didn’t really have a good sense of how to make myself happy or how to express myself…I was lost and not only was it a weight on my relationship, it was obviously a huge weight on me. When I racked my brain to find a way out of the bouts of deep depression I often found myself in, I didn’t have any answers, save for this weird hint that “What Makes Me Happy” is “Creating”. My whole life I’ve been drawn to making things…doesn’t matter what, just making stuff. In the moments where my head is down and ideas are flowing, I’m not thinking of anything else and I feel great.
So that is what I set myself up to do. Chase down my tiny thread of creative DNA, wrestle it to the ground and stare at it to see if it really held what I needed.
Around the time of the breakup I saw what Dominic Wilcox had done, and it immediately clicked with me. There was no doubt that I was going to follow the same regimented path, to turn my potential happiness into a homework assignment. I picked January, because the winter out here kind of sucks the soul anyway, and it could double as kind of a New Years Resolution deal.
I’m happy to report that this thing has been extremely eye-opening. You’ll have to forgive the cheesiness here, but I made a pretty big realization during this thing – that I am on this earth to create. Apologies for the hyperbole, but as a weapon I’m only pulling it out here because I plan on using it.
Up until this point I struggled to find a box for what I love to do…am I a “writer”? Am I a “photographer”? I’m not very good at design, but I love doing it, so could I call myself a “designer”? I’ve had a Flip Cam duct-taped to my hand for the last 3 years…does that make me a “videographer”? What the hell AM I? I always considered myself a writer, but only because I do that more than anything, and it gives me the most crisis-laden stressful high of anything I do. But I’m not all that great at making a career out of it.
I’m straying. My point is, I learned (in one of many moments of forehead-slappery) that I am not any of those things. I’m just a guy who likes to “create”. “Creator”, I suppose, but that is too specific and a little weird. So I’m more comfortable with “Guy Who Lives To Create”…funny…I just tried to type “Guy Who LIKES To Create” just now, but I slipped on the “k” and put a “v” instead….giving me “lives” instead of “likes”…ha…the K and the V are nowhere near each other on the keyboard. Even I don’t know what I’m thinking. Wow.
So, that being said, I LIVE to create I guess. All of those things I listed above – writing, photography, video, music, design – flick the exact same switch. The same light goes on and off no matter what triggers it – writing about zombies, making music with Ben, taking light painting photos, shooting in the snowy streets with my Holga, cutting and pasting like a madman in Photoshop, sketching, ironing on letters – all of that provides the same simple impulse that I’ve been chasing my whole life.
I’m not saying I found my life’s purpose. That would be a little much. I did find though, that I had been neglecting a massive part of what made Me “Me”, and I’m glad to be reconnected to it.
I also learned more about where my skills are. I learned that I am pretty good at writing zombie stories, that I am able to edit videos that make me laugh, that I am not a very good musician but I love to make noise and record it, that I can almost execute an idea with a photograph, that I have a basic understanding of design and how to make something look halfway decent, and that when pressed (especially when pressed) I can create at the drop of a hat.
Like I’ve always said, none of the stuff I make has any illusions about being “good”, but that’s not the point. It is all still an expression. Good or bad, the switch gets flicked.
With the motivation behind this thing out in the open, I hope I can continue to do this stuff. I want to just keep doing something every day because it really does make me happy. Don’t worry though, I wont meticulously blog about it. I’ll just do it because I love doing it. I highly recommend it to everyone…whatever your talents are, use them every day, and then do some stuff you are less than talented at.
Day 1 – Optronics 4-1 with Oceans in Space [VIDEO]
Day 2 – The Lightpainting Mini Booth
Day 3 – Allegedly Hilarious T-Shirt
Day 4 – Disposable Camera Photos
Day 6 – Photos From the MiniBooth
Day 9 – Noise Tape Layout 2 + Download
Day 10 – Noise Tape Layout 3 (Black Metal?)
Day 11 – Optronics 4-2 With Oceans In Space [VIDEO]
Day 13 – Movies That Bugged Me Out as a Kid – Body Parts
Day 14 – Brian Tumors Download
Day 15 – Zombie Fiction – “Cakewalk” Part 1
Day 16 – Recaptured: L5D – “Advanced Ants Dance”
Day 17 – Lil B @ Highline Ballroom [VIDEO]
Day 19 – The Battle of the Red Dragon [VIDEO]
Day 21 – Anthony: A Life (In Three Parts) [VIDEO]
Day 22 – The Scum Noise Tape Full Download
Day 23 – Cocktail Napkin Zombie Story
Day 24 – Zombie Fiction – “Cakewalk” Part 2
Day 25 – Zombie Fiction – “Untitled” Part 5
Day 26 – Blizzard/Apocalypse Music
Day 28 – Ghostbusters Firehouse Holga Photos
